You’ve Got to Go to This Place for Vacation

We have to tell you about this place we went on vacation. We just got back, and, trust me, it’s unlike any place you’ve been. Going to this place was life-changing. I’m glad we went before it’s ruined by tourists.

What’s that, honey? No, I’m not going to bore them with stories. I just want to tell them how great and unique and authentic our trip was!

We were on a five-day tour, so we really got to know this place. And our guide was born there, so we’re kind of like locals now. He shared so much interesting information! Yes, honey, I know he gets paid to do that, but you could tell he really liked us. He even said that I should consider becoming a tour guide!

Our bus drove by all the important sites, including a museum and a church and a statue. I learned so much! Honey, I hate to disagree with you, but I definitely could name three things this place is famous for. Yes, I’m certain I could find it on a map. Please stop interrupting me when I’m telling them about our vacation!

We stayed in this great area. It was near the site of a famous battle where local residents fought off an invading army and thousands of people died, causing the soil to turn red with blood. I took a selfie there to show my zest for travel and my reverence for history. Plus, the glow from the red soil was super flattering.

This place was so charming, full of small streets and alleys. And a river ran right through the center of town! True, honey, a lot of towns have rivers, but I could tell that this place was unique and really embraced its maritime heritage.

The people were so friendly and happy! I really loved the life style of this place. I wish we could move there. Granted, I say that after every vacation, but this time I mean it! This place reminded me of a simpler time—when children played in the dirt with sticks and rocks. Like when our grandparents were young. But without the polio.

The food was so fresh! We went to a market where they sold amazing produce, but there were also local artisans selling unique items like bangle bracelets and T-shirts. No, honey, it’s not “just like” the Saturday market here at home. It was very authentic and Old World. I could almost imagine the locals handcrafting refrigerator magnets by the light of an open fire!

The music scene was incredible. There was this musician playing on a street corner, and people tossed coins into his guitar case. But it wasn’t like someone playing on the street here at home, because this street was lined with cobblestones, which everyone knows is the best kind of street material.

The weather was great. It was warm during the day, and, when the sun went down, it got cooler. Isn’t that amazing? Yes, honey, I know that’s “how the sun works,” but the change in temperature was in Celsius, not Fahrenheit, so it was more dramatic. Yes, I’m sure about that.

We were really lucky to be there during this annual event where they do this thing that’s really important to their culture. People come from all over to see it. We met an old man who lived hours away from this place, but he wanted to see this event before he died. And he did! He died right there in front of us. It was beautiful.

No, honey, he didn’t just fall asleep. Yes, I’m sure! Please let me tell the story my way. I know he was dead because I could see that he was finally at peace. Which is more than I can say.

Anyway, we had a great time. Well, except for the fight we had that day we toured the town square and I wanted to kill you—remember, honey? I wanted to display your severed head on the post in the middle of the square! But apparently they don’t do that anymore, which is too bad.

Vacationing in this place was so peaceful and authentic and unlike anyplace else on earth. Trust me, you have to go.

Oh, you went there, too?

Well, next year we’re going to this other place. We can’t wait to tell you about it! ♦